she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
