How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize