please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
