She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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