I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
