Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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