weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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