is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do herpes really smell.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
