I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
