Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
