thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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