I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
