Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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