So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The air taste purple.
Randomize
