I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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