i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
