Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
my poor anus
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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