I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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