My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
