Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
then he tried to convert me to islam
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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