i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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