Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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