I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
