she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
