I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize