I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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