David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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