She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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