This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
