What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize