my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
