Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
