Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
