brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
