he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize