where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
