oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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