bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize