Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
