i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
