Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
organizing the empties. That sober.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
