she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i've created a new STD.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
