The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
