I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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