I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize