i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
