My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Holy shit dude........stairs
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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