I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How's work?
Spinning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize