He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
