I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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