Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
