i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
