we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
either way he was missing a nipple.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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