You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
