My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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