i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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