Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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