Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
