Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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